i've run across an interesting dilemma. i'm trying to write a sermon. i just shared, at lunch date with a friend, the story of the most poignant thing that's happened to me this week. she said i should include it in my sermon.
problem is, it's a conversation i had with my boss. it was a good one; telling the story wouldn't make him look bad or anything. but i have the sense that it's not kosher to share in a sermon anything about what goes on in the church office, like they're not supposed to see how the sausage is made.
part of me agrees. it's not appropriate to share, in a ministry setting, a story that you don't feel complete with, or a hurt that's still raw. we call that "bleeding on the congregation." nouwen tells an old jewish story that the messiah will be the one unbinding and binding his wounds one at a time so as to be ready when his people need him. maybe the one wound that's open to be inspected is like the psychic wound it's okay to share in a sermon--one at a time, so we can see it clearly and it's not overwhelming.
the other part of me rebels. isn't this false wall we put up hindering our ability to function as a true community? how does the idea of the leader to trust, who appears (to a degree) infallible, fit with our perfectly equitable beloved community?
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Here are my (professional) thoughts on sharing personal stories from the pulpit:
* NEVER tell a story in which you are the hero. Preaching is not an opportunity to show what great pastoral work you do, and you should never give your congregation a chance to confuse you with the Savior.
* NEVER tell a story in which the person is identifiable without having their permission and saying that you do. You should say "The other day I had a conversation with X and she gave me permission to share it with you" (this is the rule that covers the situation you describe in your posting).
* NEVER tell a story in which the person is not identifiable, but in which is it nevertheless clear that the person is in your congregation or a previous one. This makes people wonder if you're going to talk about them in your next call.
* NEVER tell a story that happened in a hospital or during any kind of CPE. Trust me. This is not just a pet peeve. It is covered under the other rules, but it is so often broken that I thought I'd make it really clear.
* NEVER break one of these rules without a really, really, good reason and lots of prayer.
Of course, there are situations when breaking one of these rules won't hurt anyone. But following these rules will NEVER hurt anyone. And it will preserve your reputation as a person who doesn't speak about confidential situations. That's a Pastor's most valuable quality.
Ah! Micah showed up; you don't need me.
If the story is indispensable to your point, can you anonymize it? Not "this week, with this person," but vague circumstances?
You really don't want to talk about your colleagues from the pulpit. Ever.
Check your Facebook invites, btw.
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