Proper 21, Year B
Blessing of the Animals Sunday
St. Mary's by the Sea, Northeast
Harbor, ME
When
I was running a church summer camp, we had a camper-led evening
prayer service every night. The small group responsible for worship
on a given day had a period of the afternoon where they met with the
chaplain to discuss the readings we had chosen and decided how to
present them. I remember one night at dinner I checked in with the
chaplain, who was someone I didn't know all that well and definitely
hadn't ever discussed theology with. I asked how her planning time
had gone that day, and she said, “well, when we were reading
through the parable we forgot to stop at the end of the reading and
the gospel goes straight into a bunch of hell stuff, about weeping
and gnashing of teeth. They really wanted to talk about that, so we
didn't end up with much time to plan a skit of the parable.”
“Hell
stuff.” I think the campers' ears perked up because “hell” is a
word very rarely heard in their, or our, Episcopal churches. What
does it mean? Is it a literal place with literal unquenchable fires
and literal undying worms? What sins are bad enough to land you
there, and who decides? The idea, the cultural idea that my campers
wanted to pick apart, is that the afterlife contains rewards and
punishments for what we've done and left undone in this life. Good
behavior = eternal life in heaven, bad = hellfire. Like Dante's
Inferno. Notice that while today's passage says, “it's better for
you to enter life lame than have two feet and be thrown into hell,”
it doesn't end with “when you die.” All three times, Jesus says,
“it's better for you to enter life/the kingdom of God (blank—this
way), than be (another way), and be thrown into hell.” It seems to
me that if we assume he's talking about a Dante-style scorekeeping
system and giving afterlife travel advice, we're assuming an awful
lot.
Since
I believe God desperately loves the whole world, bad behavior and
all, the Dante way of looking at hell doesn't ring true for me.
Here's another perspective that's well rooted in our theological
tradition, and I find more helpful: hell is separation from God. The
Prophet Muhammad is remembered to have said, “heaven is closer than
your sandal strap. So is hell.” We experience some days in this
life that are heavenly and some that are hellish and fiery, and
spiritual maturity is a lot about being able to distinguish the bad
pain, or fire, from the good. Jesus talks in today's gospel both
about the fire of hell and about the fire of sanctification, that
which cleanses us from sin and ignorance and gets us closer to God.
“Everyone will be salted with fire,” he says. Sanctification,
getting clean from mistakes we've made, or working to restore harmony
in relationships with God and with each other, is hard work. It can
feel almost as painful as “hellfire,” as the pain of separation
from God and from each other.
I
have a very early memory of learning that some pain can be good for
you. I remember whenever my mom patched up my scrapes and cuts, she
explained to me what she was doing and why. Like “this is peroxide,
it's going to sting a little bit, but it's good because it's killing
any of the germs that may be in there.” I remember being very proud
of myself for coming up with a theory of why this was: “Oh, that
makes sense, Mommy. Because it hurts when you die, right? So if the
little germs are dying in there it would hurt me a little bit.”
I'm
not a parent, but I know that being a caregiver to a human or animal
can come with huge amounts of good and necessary heartache. My
boyfriend and I have been planning and preparing for months to
welcome a dog into our little family, and he has told me stories
about the last time he had a puppy, a Shiba Inu named Izzy. This
particular breed goes through separation anxiety when very young and
first leaving their pack. Izzy spent most of her life as a
sleep-in-bed-with-the-people dog, but first she needed to be crate
trained to help her learn that she could sleep on her own and she
would be okay. As she was learning that, she did some of what's known
as “the Shiba scream,” waking up scared in the night like some
children do and making blood-curdling sounds. Art says it was
incredibly hard to hear, but he knew she'd be happier in the long run
if she was able to face her fear. The fire of sanctification takes
many forms. Little Izzy was certainly learning to “have salt in
herself, and be at peace.”
I
read a theologian who said this is how God teaches us, like a parent
who stands just out of sight of the toddler learning to walk, but
close enough to intervene in case of danger, silently loving us and
cheering us on.
But
as parents and caregivers also know, the line between good pain and
bad pain can be very thin indeed. Sometimes we, like the disciples,
want to teach or comfort or help others but don't understand what
they really need. Sometimes feeling good about ourselves for trying
to help is more important to us than whether we've had a positive
impact, whether we've succeeded in casting out the demons.
We
find the disciples at the beginning of today's gospel feeling just
that way. They're nearing the end of their journey to Jerusalem with
Jesus, and they're starting to hear his warnings about how they'll
have to go on without him before long. They're hoping for validation
from the Teacher, both individually and as members of the group. One
very human way to do this is to draw some boundaries that separate
insiders from outsiders. They come across someone they don't know
doing the good work they've been doing with Jesus, easing the
suffering of his neighbors, and rather than celebrating that they've
found a kindred spirit, the disciples get a little mean. “We tried
to stop him, because he was not following us.”
They
may have thought they were being good teachers, and would be helping
their new friend by keeping him from blasphemy. But Jesus very
clearly pointed out that they had crossed over from good pain to bad
pain: they weren't practicing tough love, they were just being
jealous. And Jesus knew that jealousy eating you up from the inside
feels like hell. Feels like having a millstone hung around your neck
and being thrown into the sea.
We
heard about someone else this morning, too, who crossed that
threshold without knowing it. Queen Esther stood in a fire of
righteous indignation to stand up for her people and free them. But
later in the story we learn that her anger was not quenched. Like
many others with deep wounds, she stayed angry and felt she needed
vengeance. She asks for a second day of retribution against the
enemies of the Jews and gets it. “We seem to be in a time like that
of the Judges,” says commentator Telford Work of this story, “in
which God raises up deliverers whose lives are puzzlingly and
distressingly unfaithful to and even ignorant of the covenant.” It
took great courage to turn her fear and anger on behalf of her people
into a way to use her power to help them. But the fire of her courage
and toughness also threw her into the hell of vengefulness, and
helping and healing others wasn't enough for her to heal herself.
This is a very familiar story, isn't is? Kings and queens, of the
Jews and every other nation, who defend and rescue their people from
danger, sometimes feel they haven't done enough, and ask for their
second day of retribution.
So
for all of us, wholeness and holiness comes with some pain but it
mostly comes with awareness. All the awareness we can muster. Asking
all the questions we need to see if we're speaking and acting with
integrity, or if we're just being jealous disciples. Bringing
ourselves back, over and over again, restoring our deep unity with
God and one another, against great odds. Today's readings have
beautiful images of getting overwhelmed, by fire in the gospel, and
by waves of anger and hatred in the psalm. Then the psalm ends with a
beautiful contrast to those: a bird, flying free away from a broken
snare that had held it hostage. In the name of the Father and the Son
and that free-flying Holy Spirit, let's get free.